Tasteful Toasts Birth Mirth


Birthdays happen every year          

You can toast with pithy cheer

Take your time

Learn one line

It’s a precious souvenir


Far too often I hear tributes that sting like the spank on your tush the day you were born. Yes, I’m referring to old age jokes. For example:


- “The twinkle in your eye is the reflection of the sun on your bifocals.”

- “You’ve seen it all, done it all, and can’t remember most of it.”

- “Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.”

- “A benefit of being older is that you’re safe from being kidnapped.”

- “In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.”


While those lines might be funny (and possibly true), I have found saying something a bit more tasteful and witty can provide more memory mileage for a treasured moment.


Here are my top ten birthday one-liners to better celebrate your milestone:

10.  We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.
9.  Statistics show that the people who have the most birthdays live the longest.

8.  You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.

7.  Think of hot flashes as your inner child playing with matches.

6.  You’re not 40, you’re 18 with 22 years of experience.

5.  Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional.

4.  You’re like a fine wine; you get better with age.

3.  Age doesn’t matter, unless you are cheese.

2.  The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune.

1.  It is better to wear out than to rust out.


I believe in celebrating your birthday…all week, month or even an entire year. It’s important to have twinkles in your wrinkles. As Mark Twain once wrote, “Wrinkles merely indicate where smiles have been.”


Related articles:
Hazardous Humor
Tasteful Wedding One Liners
One Liners for Lovers


Bonus Stephen Wright Joke:

Last week the candle factory burned down;

Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday. 


Your turn: What are your favorite and positive birthday jokes, quotes or one-liners?

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